What's in a Name?

I, like I suspect a good many people, am not happy with my name. “Gary.” It seems so bland, so ordinary. When I asked my parents where it came from, they were rather vague: “Oh, we just liked it.” There’s no other Gary in our family; there’s no history associated with the name. How could I ever have become an important writer—or composer or artist—with a name like Gary Brown; it reeks of the ordinary.

I thought of better names when I was very young. I liked Jason. Perhaps I had seen Jason and the Argonauts. It seemed vaguely more romantic, although I can’t imagine why I thought that. As I got older I wondered why I wasn’t Ernest, Jr., named after my dad since I was the first son. Again, rather a muddled answer from my parents. Looking back, I suspect it had something to do with Mom having had at least one miscarriage before I was born; maybe that child was intended to be the Junior. Also, for some reason, Dad did not have a middle name. I guess it happens now and again, probably because he was born on a very poor dirt farm in southwest Oklahoma. Maybe they couldn’t afford a middle name? He finally gave up explaining to people and just adopted the middle initial “L,” although it stood for nothing. So, I gave up on becoming Ernie, Jr., although I still like the sound of that.

More recently, I’ve come up with another idea: Major Ernest Brown. I like the sound of that. “Major” is not a title; it’s my grandfather’s name: Major Emmet Brown. And like other family names (including my brother’s, Kenneth Lee Brown), I have no history for it. I just like the sound of it. And it includes Dad’s name without the “Jr.” attached.

But truthfully, it’s too late for a name change. I only know one person who has legally changed his name, and that’s my friend Ray, who was an actor in New York City for many years. His Hispanic name was leading to him only being cast in Hispanic rôles. One day waiting for an audition, he decided to change his name to that of an author whose book he was holding: Algernon Blackwood. So Ramón became Ray, and his last name became Blackwood (I don’t remember his original last name). And he eventually went to court to officially change it. But I’m too old for that. Should I become a famous writer or artist, I’ll change it. But at 75 that seems less and less likely.