Dorien Grey and Roger

It’s been almost a year since my dear friend Roger died: November 1, 2015.  Not a day goes by that I don’t miss him.  Everything I do is measured as though Roger were still here.  I have moved on, in many ways, but always the spirit of Roger is hovering, as it were, over my shoulder and watching me.  I don’t mean this in any way morbidly nor supernaturally—there is no ghost of Roger—but he was such a part of my life for so many years that I always “align” my actions with what Roger might think (even when I know he would not approve).

And since his death I have taken over the job of editing his books, written under the name of Dorien Grey, that are being rereleased, by his major publisher, Untreed Reads, after being out of print for some time.  It’s a task I do gratefully.  I am glad that Jay, the publisher, and KD, the CEO, trust me enough to take on this task.  I’m working on the next-to-last Dick Hardesty mystery, The Peripheral Son (each edit is done twice by me and at least twice by KD); waiting in the wings is the last of the Dick Hardesty books, The Serpent’s Tongue. And recently I secured the release from his other publisher, Zumaya Publications, of the four books in Roger’s John series, a supernatural mystery collection of four novels, and his young adult western, Calico.  While I haven’t confirmed this yet, I assume I’ll also be editing them for rerelease through Untreed Reads in 2017.  It’s a job I look forward to.

But a most unusual and moving thing has happened as I’ve edited nine of the books: Dick Hardesty is becoming Roger—Dorien Grey, who was always Roger, is becoming Roger in a very real and often quite touching way.  Roger, as far as I know, had no desire to be a private detective, but the Dick Hardesty in the books in so many ways is Roger, that I find I am often moved to tears at scenes in the books.  This is particularly true in Dick’s relationship with his partner, Jonathan; their relationship is what Roger always wanted for himself—and never really had.  Even, I think, to the extent that Dick and Jonathan end up as parents, something I don’t remember Roger expressing a desire for.  But the way the three—Dick, Jonathan, and Joshua—interact around each other and toward each other is, I have come to believe, a very idealized version of what Roger always wanted, and life, in its too often cruel way, never gave him.

Everything isn’t always perfect in the Dick-Jonathan-Joshua household.  Joshua is a child and can, at times, be, well, childlike.  Dick’s erratic work schedule often interferes with the running of the household; and as Jonathan gets more and more involved in his own job, his education, and his own business and activities, Dick sometimes finds himself jealous.  In other words, their household is like any household: sometimes chaotic, often unorganized, but always loving.  

I am more sad than I can describe to know that I’ll never learn how Joshua grows up, how Jonathan’s transition to his own business develops, nor how the three grow as a family.  They have become so real to me, that I am having a hard time accepting that I will not see the end of the story.  But I know Roger would have wanted that ending, and although I’ll never see it in print, I know in my heart how the story continues.  And as is the way with fantasies, this story doesn’t end with death; it just continues on and on.  That’s my gift to Roger.