Language constantly changes; it’s the nature of the beast. As a language conservative (the only place I’m a conservative), I fight what I consider frivolous and unwarranted changes in our language. As far as I’m concerned, the only way to say ideology is id-ee-ol-uh-jee, not ahy-dee-ol-uh-jee. And harassment should be pronounced with the accent on the first syllable, not the second as is commonly heard. And short-lived is pronounced with a long i. Period. I’m losing these battles (I’ve lost the last one already), but I gamely fight on.
But there is one recent change in language that I wholeheartedly applaud: the necessary alterations in gender in reference to same-sex marriages. But these changes are new and they still bring me up short. I was recently reading about the opera singer Patricia Racette when I ran across this clause: “. . . the decade that I’ve known her and her wife, mezzo Beth Clayton.” I knew Racette was gay; she has long been open about it. But that didn’t stop me from doing a double take when I read “her and her wife.” 60+ years of reading “he and his wife” make the new phraseology stand out. I’m all for it, of course; it’s just different and I’m having to adjust.
And I need to get used to it. The same issue of Opera News had a news item about the great countertenor David Daniels marrying his partner, conductor Scott Walters; the ceremony was performed by none other than Supreme Court justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg (photo above). It was just another news item.
I remember when the former ABC weatherman Sam Champion married his partner: the wedding was announced on GMA, complete with photos. No big deal.
And just today I was watching Jeopardy!, and when one of the contestants was interviewed, he mentioned that he “and his boyfriend” went on a safari to see the great apes. No one batted an eye.
For each of these events the world didn’t end. Civilization as we know it didn’t come crashing down. The institution of marriage did not crumble, as the Bible-thumpers told us it would. In fact, Massachusetts has had legal gay marriage since 2004—a decade—and the state hasn’t fallen into the ocean. Same sex marriage is legal in many countries: Argentina, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, Denmark, France, Iceland, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Portugal, Spain, South Africa, Sweden, United Kingdom, and Uruguay; and in parts of other countries (the US for one)—and right here in Illinois.
And the world moves right ahead. And that’s the way it should be. Still, for those of us who watch language closely, some adjustments will need to be made. I will gladly do that for this important step forward in human rights, even though for every “he and his husband” or “she and her wife” I do a double take. I’ll get there; I’m just slow to adapt.
